Johnny Strumfart: The Ballad of the Flatulent Fretboard | Budville Mystery Theater

  Hey there, BONG TV viewers! Ever heard of Johnny Strumfart? He's the guitar god who can shred like a pro but has one tiny, stinky problem. When Johnny hits those high notes, he hits something else too. Studio gigs turned into stink fests, until he found his calling with "The Backdrafts." Tune in to hear how Johnny turned his natural gas into a legendary musical saga!

Tonight on Budville Mystery Theater–"Because Everything Is A Mystery When You're High":

Johnny Strumfart: The Ballad of the Flatulent Fretboard

The Story Version:

Johnny Strumfart

Meet Johnny Strumfart, arguably the greatest studio guitar player the world has ever tried to keep in a room with soundproofing. Johnny was known for his ability to make guitars weep, scream, and even occasionally laugh. His fingers were like magicians, conjiting solos that could make a grown man cry (either from the beauty or from the subsequent aroma).

Johnny's career started with a bang—or rather, a whiff. His first big gig was recording with "The Velvet Strings," a band poised for global fame. As he played the opening riff to their hit song, "Love on the Frets," the studio filled with the most glorious guitar sound ever heard, only to be shortly followed by an unexpected bass line from Johnny's rear.

The producer, Mr. Mixmaster, was initially enchanted by Johnny's talent but quickly realized that the studio's state-of-the-art recording equipment was picking up not just every note but every note. The session was cut short, with Johnny being politely asked to "take five" which, in studio lingo, meant "leave, please, for the sake of our nostrils."

Johnny's reputation grew; not for his music alone, but for his unique ability to clear a room quicker than a fire alarm. Band after band, studio after studio, Johnny was becoming less of a guitar legend and more of a local legend for his unintended contributions to olfactory experiences.

Determined to keep his career alive, Johnny decided to take matters into his own hands, or rather, his own diet. He tried everything from charcoal biscuits to yoga for digestion, but alas, his passion for playing was directly proportional to his production of gas.

One day, while playing in a small, underground studio notorious for its poor ventilation, Johnny struck upon an idea. He started a band called "The Backdrafts," specializing in what they dubbed "Aromatic Rock." Here, his talent was not just accepted but celebrated. They recorded with a special "Fart Filter" mic setup, which oddly enough, became their unique selling point. The music press loved it, calling them "The Smelliest Band on Earth," and their album "Silent but Deadly" won a niche but passionate fanbase.

Johnny Strumfart, once a pariah in the clean-cut world of studio recording, found fame by embracing his natural gift. He became a symbol of authenticity in an industry often criticized for being too polished. And in a twist of fate, his band's live shows became sensory experiences like no other, where fans would come not just to hear, but to smell the music.

In the end, Johnny taught us all that even the most unwanted talents can find their place in the world, especially if you've got the air of a legend.